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Become a Confident Man
Category Archives: Self Esteem
Build Self-Esteem by Becoming Self-Validating
If you grew up in an environment where you felt a sense of unconditional love, you probably developed strong self-worth and confidence by default. And you're probably not reading this. But if you felt early on that love was tied to acceptance and approval from other people, you may have developed a bad habit of seeking approval from other people as a way of feeling good about yourself.
The problem with seeking validation externally from other people is that our self-worth ends up at the mercy of their moods and on what we imagine other people are thinking of us. … Continue reading…
Posted in Self Esteem 2 Comments
Stem Cell Research Offers Hope To Men With Backbone Injuries
Embryonic stem cell research is offering new hope to millions of men who suffer daily from the effects of backbone injuries acquired during childhood and adolescence. According to Dr Gung-Ho at the University of Penisilvania Medical Centre, this new treatment could offer a permanent cure to men suffering from a specific type of spinal injury that has been dubbed Nice Guy Syndrome.
“I see these guys in my clinic all the time”, says Dr Gung-Ho. “Their condition usually results from an injury to their backbone during childhood or adolescence, often caused by a domineering mother crushing their spirit between … Continue reading…
How to Recover from a Christian Upbringing
I grew up in a conservative Christian church-going family. During years of Sunday school, church services and various fellowship groups, I was fed a diet of deception which helped undermine my fragile self-esteem. My sensitivity and having emotionally disconnected parents who were in constant conflict didn't help, and it's difficult to judge exactly how much of the damage was due to religious indoctrination, and how much was simply due to the environment I grew up in. My parents could return from a church service where the minister preached on the theme of “Love”, and have a blazingly abusive argument… Continue reading…
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert A. Glover
The most striking thing I notice that guys who lack confidence and struggle to attract the women they want in their lives have in common is Nice Guy Syndrome. This affliction is characterised by the constant seeking of approval from other people (especially women), an intense fear of rejection, and a misguided belief that we can get our needs met by always being unfailingly “nice” and inoffensive to other people.
Dr. Robert A. Glover is a therapist who works primarily with men who are suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome. As a recovering … Continue reading…
Posted in Self Esteem Tagged approval seeking, book review, Dr Robert Glover, nice guy syndrome 1 Comment
Overcoming Self-Consciousness
Self-consciousness is a huge problem for us when we lack confidence, because it broadcasts neediness and insecurity to other people. It also makes other people feel ill at ease around us, especially women. Our social interactions suffer, and our self-confidence becomes even more undermined as a result. It's a viscous cycle. So overcoming self-consciousness is an essential step in becoming a confident man.
This is one of the biggest issues I've struggled with in my life, arising as a chronic fear of what other people thought. As a result, in the past I always dressed conservatively and had a … Continue reading…
Recovering From Nice Guy Syndrome
When I start hearing the same message coming at me from multiple independent sources, that usually gets my attention. Last year I kept hearing that women want men with backbone who they can “push up against”. They get tired and ultimately resentful of Nice Guys who always yield powerlessly to them, and everyone else.
I listened to an interview recently where Robert Glover described what is wrong with Nice Guys most succinctly by quoting a comment from his ex-wife, who said “How would I know that you could ever stand up for me, if you can't even stand up to… Continue reading…
Give Yourself Credit
I just got back from a totally fascinating conversation over lunch with my friend Jenny, and her brother Derrick. Jenny lined it up because her brother used to suffer from Chronic Fatigue, something that I've been experiencing for the last 18 months. We talked for quite a while about what causes this most frustrating of mystery illnesses, and whether it could have an emotional basis in some of the unresolved family background and upbringing stuff that I've been working through over the last few years. Jenny had to leave early to get back to work, but Derrick and I continued … Continue reading…
