Sacred sexual healers deal with psychological, emotional and physical issues on a sexual and spiritual level. They harness the intense power of our sexuality to heal emotional wounds, and they handle sexual issues directly often by dealing with the guilt, fear and shame that many of us have around sex.
You visit either a Daka (male) or Dakini (female) sacred sexual healer and participate in healing rituals that vary according to what they sense your underlying issues are.
For example say your lack of confidence is causing, or caused by, sexual dysfunction. A Dakini can help you by going all the way through the sexual process with you and identifying any potential points at which you might be getting anxious, or any other issues that might be coming up for you. This is better than dealing with your sexual issues by practicing on unsuspecting women you meet, who haven’t agreed to be used for that.
Advantages:
You learn to set boundaries
Great at dealing with guilt, fear and shame
Harness the power of sexuality for healing purposes
The healer may be willing to go places nobody else will
Liberate sexual tension from your body
Disadvantages:
Sacred Sexual healers aren’t licensed therapists
About as extreme and non-mainstream as therapy can get.
When you’re feeling low, listening to music that describes exactly how you feel can help you get more deeply in touch with, and hence process, your raw emotions. So long as you avoid creating a story about why you feel bad that just reinforces the feeling, listening to music you can relate to can help you to move on from unpleasant feelings.
Here’s a list of my favorite music for when I’m feeling sad, depressed or discouraged:
Soul Asylum: Misery
Misery loves company. Great for relating to frustration.
Linkin Park: Somewhere I Belong
If you’re feeling lost and just don’t seem to fit in, you’ll relate to this one.
Evanescence: Going Under
For when you’re feeling overwhelmed, like you’re drowning.
Lily Allen: The Fear
Feeling anxious? You might as well acknowledge it… other people will be able to relate too.
Eminem: Lose Yourself
We all struggle with self-doubt from time to time. Just remember: success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not.
Gwen Steffani: What You Waiting For?
You’ve felt bad for long enough now; take some action to change it. What are you waiting for?
Add Yours
How about you? Do you have a favorite song for for when you’re feeling low?… Continue reading…
I’ve been interested lately in how Tantra can help me take my own confidence to new levels, and recently interviewed Tantric Practitioner David Anderson from TantricBlossoming.com to discuss how you can use Tantric techniques to boost your sexual confidence and become more confident in relationships with women generally.
Many men are afraid of women and don’t show up as a masculine man around women. We’re often particularly afraid of women’s emotions, and this all stems from being stuck emotionally back with mum. When we were a boy we sought love from our mother, and the fear was that if mum didn’t love us we’d be alone and we’d die, so we did anything we could to get love and attention from her.
We run stories about our mother in our heads that keep us stuck in this pattern which we project onto all the other women in our life. The most powerful way to break out of these stories is to be honest with ourselves and our mothers about how we felt towards her growing up. When we start taking responsibility for our mother issues we start attracting different women into our life.
Women often put men to the test to see what we’re made of and whether they can trust us.… Continue reading…
If the idea of learning a bunch of canned routines and fake stories grates on you like it does on me, you’ll want to listen to this interview by Leigh Louey-Gung from AttractionInstitute.org on how you can attract women by being real. Leigh’s free ebook Seduction Community Sucks really blew me away by highlighting how a lot of material from the pick-up community actually lowers your self-esteem by teaching you that you have to project a fake facade in order to get the women that you want interested in you.
There’s no doubt that techniques like those in Neil Strauss’s book The Game work if you’re prepared to do all the hard work of learning how to lie, cheat and manipulate women into bed with you. But presenting a false personality can never lead to the genuine connection that we all really want deep down. So if you don’t want to go down that route and yet what you’re currently doing isn’t working, what’s the alternative?
Change the way that you bridge the gap between how you feel and how you want to feel. For instance, rather than using women to try and make yourself feel powerful, gain a sense of personal power by constantly and systematically pushing through fear in every area of your life.… Continue reading…
One of my goals is to get really confident at meeting women during the day. I’m not a big fan of nightclubs with loud blaring music, and the idea of being able to approach attractive women I see going about their daily routines in a relaxed manner really appeals to me. I figure that once I learn to approach women confidently, I can travel the world and never be wanting for female company.
My friend Jack from SucceedAtDating.com is an expert on meeting women during the day, also known as day game. He coaches other men on how to successfully approach and start conversations with women while they’re out and about. I’ve just interviewed him for The Confident Man Program, and here are the main points I learned from Jack about day game:
It’s easier than you think.
Any skill takes time to master, and approaching women is no different.
Stop reading books, e-books and watching videos. You know enough already.
Get out there and keep it simple. Take action. Start approaching every day.
Take baby steps. Be patient with yourself and you’ll get there.
Make it a habit.
Always be curious, fun and playful. Don’t make this a chore!
If there’s one theme that shines through from legendary actor and ladies’ man Errol Flynn’s autobiography My Wicked, Wicked Ways, it’s his complete lack of shame in going after what he wanted. He loved the company of beautiful women, and his swashbuckling movie persona ensured that he had more attention from them than he could handle. Yet even before becoming famous, it seemed that he had something that women wanted and they were happy for him to seduce them so they could have a taste of it.
Flynn’s sense of adventure and willingness to take risks seems to lie at the heart of what made him so appealing to women. He was unashamedly sexual with women, getting into more than the odd spot of bother and ending up accused of statutory rape after some under-age actress with starry eyes got involved with him. Or at least, that’s his version of the story. Perhaps it was part of a conspiracy against him, or maybe they just regretted it later and wanted revenge.
“I like to enjoy the thrill of living every day; every hour of the day. For we are only here this once, and let’s feel the wind while we may.”
– Errol Flynn, My Wicked, Wicked Ways(more…)
Dealing with “rejection” is one of the hardest things for many of us to learn, especially when we lack deep inner confidence. It’s taken a long time for me to get a handle on, but I’m definitely getting better at handling rejection these days.
At a recent Love, Intimacy and Sexuality workshop run by The Human Awareness Institute, I found myself dealing with rejection right from the word go. Our very first task was to choose a buddy for the weekend, and I immediately found myself drawn to the most attractive woman in the room.
Problem was, so was another guy. And she chose him over me.
Ouch!
Before I knew it, that story was running in my head about other guys being better than me in some way: more attractive, sexier, more desirable. But the good thing was that the voice telling the story wasn’t as loud as it used to be, and the unpleasant feeling it created in me wasn’t as overwhelming. I’d been “rejected” in favor of another guy, but I was doing OK.
The very next exercise involved picking a partner, and again the same woman sprang straight to mind. I knew if I didn’t act immediately, that voice in my head would start making up a big dramatic story about how she’d already rejected me once and so she obviously didn’t like me.… Continue reading…
You might think that the Harry Potter series are just children’s books, but there’s plenty of adult wisdom in them if you look more closely. Their incredible popularity means that they’ve obviously struck a chord with millions of children and adults alike. So what can we learn from Harry Potter about the Path of Confidence?
Warning: contains minor spoilers…
You’re A Wizard
In Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry learns that he’s a wizard. He just didn’t realize because he’s been brought up as an orphan in a family of muggles (non-wizards). It’s a similar situation to many other men I know who lack confidence: we were brought up in families with low self-esteem and poor communication skills, and we internalized this believing there was something wrong with us.
You’re a wizard too. You just don’t realize because your unique gifts weren’t valued in the environment where you grew up. Once Harry enrolls in Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he’s finally in the right environment to flourish and discovers that he’s already famous. It’s the same for you: once you realize that you’re a wizard and get into the right environment, you’ll flourish and your old feelings of lacking confidence will be a distant memory.… Continue reading…