How to Develop Your Masculinity

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- Graham’s StoryI suffered from a chronic lack of self-confidence right from early childhood through most of my adult life. I am a sensitive person and was deeply traumatized by the never-ending conflict and hostility in my parent’s relationship. My mother was, and still is, the dominant force in my family of origin. Highly intelligent but emotionally withheld, she was always quick to criticise and would never back down in any of the petty arguments with my father that characterized their relationship. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mother’s frequent put-downs. She would berate him saying “You stupid creature; why can’t you just tell me what you’re thinking!”, not realizing the irony behind her nagging criticism. Our home didn’t feel like a safe or fun place to be much of the time. My two elder sisters both dealt with this in their own way, leaving me feeling excluded and abandoned a lot of the time. My sensitivity in this situation was always invalidated, caused me a great deal of grief and felt like a genuine weakness. Ironically, my parents…
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Topics
- ConfidenceConfidence, or more precisely self-confidence, is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines how you respond to challenges that impact how well everything else in your life goes. Great challenges always involve great opportunities, but it’s only through having confidence in yourself that you are able to see and take advantage of these opportunities. Confidence is partly general and partly contextual. You might feel confident about your ability to drive a car, but not so confident about your ability to play a guitar… especially if you’ve never learned. But an innate sense of self-confidence will make it much easier for you to learn to play a guitar, because you’ll feel more positive about the likelihood of success and less worried about failure. Every skill that you acquire has the potential to build your self-confidence, and this general sense of confidence begins to spill over into other areas of your life. We start out in life by inheriting the confidence of our parents, plus or minus a little depending on our personality and individual disposition. Lack of…
- Assertiveness
- Self Esteem
- CommunicationCommunicate Clearly and Confidently
- RelationshipsHave better relationships
- Masculinity
- MindsetDevelop a confidence mindset
- EmotionsMastering your Emotions
- TherapyDifferent types of therapy for building your confidence
- WomenRelate to women confidently
- DatingGet more and better dates
- SexMaster the art of making love to a woman and giving her incredible pleasure.

Being a man in today’s world can be a challenge. Fortunately there are a lot of resources out there that can help get us in touch with the masculinity at our core and be more confident and effective in the world.

Between fellow course junkie Dunstan Bertschinger and I, we’ve explored a bunch of books, courses and workshops that have helped us get in touch with our intuition, emotions, and inner magician. Dunstan is a swimming coach who helps his clients gain confidence by developing their relationship with the water. He sees learning to swim as a metaphor for finding your place in the world: you can relax and trust the water to support you, or you can struggle to stay afloat.

Here’s a podcast conversation between the two of us discussing several courses and workshops we’ve found helpful lately for developing confidence and getting in touch with our masculinity. Some of the themes we cover:

The real meaning of confidence
Opening your heart to receiving from others
Being real with women and other people
The problem with being nice when we’re inauthentic
Giving up perfectionism
Transforming emotional wounds into personal power
The power of naming your fears
Your thoughts and feelings are not real
The secrets of personal magic/alchemy
Overcoming creepiness
Reversing our childhood conditioning and being honest
Overturning negative beliefs

It’s real, it’s raw, and you can preview it by clicking the play button:

The full interview is included in The Confident Man Program.

Here are links to the resources mentioned in the interview:

Master Your Destiny course and The Magician’s Way book by William Whitecloud
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Personal Growth Counsellor Denise Cook
The Human Awareness Institute Love, Intimacy and Sexuality workshops
Indian spiritual teacher Osho
The Work of Byron Katie and her book Loving What Is
The popular “law of attraction” movie The Secret that tells only half the story

You can connect with Dunstan Bertschinger on Facebook. We love your feedback so please leave a comment letting us both know what you think!

Build your self-confidence faster with The Confident Man Program

Categories: Masculinity

Tags: byron katiedunstan bertschingerhuman awareness instituteintimacythe magician's waythe secretthe workwilliam whitecloud

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.