Subscribe via Email
Processing...Follow The Project
Become a Confident Man
Category Archives: Masculinity
Harry Potter and the Path of Confidence
You might think that the Harry Potter series are just children's books, but there's plenty of adult wisdom in them if you look more closely. Their incredible popularity means that they've obviously struck a chord with millions of children and adults alike. So what can we learn from Harry Potter about the Path of Confidence?
Warning: contains minor spoilers...
You're A Wizard
In Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Harry learns that he's a wizard. He just didn't realize because he's been brought up as an orphan in a family of muggles (non-wizards). It's a similar situation to many … Continue reading…
How to Develop Your Masculinity
Being a man in today's world can be a challenge. Fortunately there are a lot of resources out there that can help get us in touch with the masculinity at our core and be more confident and effective in the world.
Between fellow course junkie Dunstan Bertschinger and I, we've explored a bunch of books, courses and workshops that have helped us get in touch with our intuition, emotions, and inner magician. Dunstan is a swimming coach who helps his clients gain confidence by developing their relationship with the water. He sees learning to swim as a metaphor for finding … Continue reading…
Spending “Quality” Time With My Father
When my father invited me recently to join him on a Railway Historical Society trip from Sydney to Broken Hill and back, my initial thought was “5 days stuck on a rusty old train with uncomfortable seats isn't exactly my thing”. But I'd been looking for an opportunity to travel somewhere and spend some quality time with my Dad, so I ended up jumping at the chance.
My father is 79, and although he's just as mentally alert as he's ever been, he's not getting any younger. His father lived to be 100 and there's no sign of mine dropping … Continue reading…
How to Recover from a Passive or Ineffective Father
Having a passive, ineffective or absent father has an enormous effect on a man's development and eventual self-confidence. The quality of your relationship with your father, and his ability to pass on to you his positive masculine wisdom and energy are the most important factors in you developing your full potential as a man.
However, if your father was relatively passive, non-assertive, ineffective, absent physically or even just shy and withheld, you may have some work to do in order to recover what you missed out on. Here are some suggestions on how to fill the gap your father left:… Continue reading…
Get Yourself a Male Mentor
In an ideal world, your father taught you everything you need to know in order to grow into a confident, powerful, successful man. In the real world, my father didn't know half of what I needed in order to be the man I was meant to be. That meant I needed to find other male mentors to fill in the gaps. If you talk to anyone successful at anything, you'll discover that they didn't get there on their own: they had help from their teachers and mentors. So I suggest that you specifically seek out men who have achieved … Continue reading…
How to Recover From a Controlling Mother
Growing up with a controlling and/or domineering mother can suppress your masculinity and leave you stuck feeling and acting like a boy in a man's body. My mother was the dominant figure in my family of origin, and with a passive-aggressive father and two relatively dominant older sisters, it was a disastrous recipe for my developing masculinity.
A controlling mother creates a relationship dynamic that will undermine your confidence in yourself as a man unless you take steps to counter its effects. So here are some steps to take to help you recover from growing up with a controlling, dominant … Continue reading…
Posted in Masculinity Tagged anxiety, assertiveness, controlling mother, dominant mother, emotional healing, forgiveness, mother, mothers, religion, shame 11 Comments
Men's Group
The discomfort and apprehension is so palpable you can feel it just watching Men's Group, as six men meet for the first time in the leader's home to begin the painful cathartic process of talking about their lives. Half of them are ambivalent about even being there; some are there under duress, and all are struggling in some key area of their life. They're in pain, and their learning how to heal and sort things out by sharing it with other men. It's a practical lesson in learning to trust and how to do intimacy with other human beings, … Continue reading…
How to Attract a Superior Woman
If you want to attract a superior woman, you need to become a superior man. As much as we'd like to think that us guys choose our partners, the reality is that women do the choosing. A superior woman has many, many options to choose from, so if we want her to choose us we need to stand out from all the regular guys she meets who want her attention every single day.
David Deida's book The Way of the Superior Man is a great textbook on becoming the superior man that women are naturally attracted to. Whether you're in … Continue reading…
Posted in Masculinity Tagged attraction, David Deida, feminine energy, masculine energy Leave a comment
Mature Masculine Power and The Count of Monte Cristo
Dr Paul pointed out on David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game program that the story of The Count of Monte Cristo is a metaphor for the journey that men take in growing from a boy into a mature man. So I recently watched the 2002 movie version starring Jim Caviezel and Guy Pearce, to see what nuggets of masculine wisdom I could extract from it.
At the beginning of the story, Edmond Dantes is a boy living in a man's body. He lacks intuition and street-smarts, and has a naïve overly-trusting view of other people. He has never questioned his … Continue reading…
Posted in Masculinity Tagged manhood, masculine power, maturity, movie review, The Count of Monte Cristo, wisdom Leave a comment
