Life Skills

You Never Know Where The Confident Man Program Will Take You

One of the confidence-building activities that I recommend in The Confident Man Program guide is learning to play a musical instrument. Learning to play music is awesome because it's fun, it teaches persistence which is a valuable life skill, and it means you can ultimately join a band and jam with other musicians. Plus artistic skills like musicality are very attractive to women for evolutionary reasons; which is another way of saying that they make you an interesting, well-rounded man. You never know where learning a skill like music can take you. In my case, I learned to play music as an adult and my chosen instrument was guitar. Sure, it's taken a long time, but like any valuable skill the rewards lie waiting for the man willing to rise to the challenge of giving it a serious go. This year I even put on my first solo show, at the 2017 Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival. If you've checked out my story, you'll know that I used to be paralysed by anxiety in front of people; so for me to put together a full hour of original material and let go of worrying what the audience might think of me was a huge achievement. If you're looking for some inspiration or are just wondering what's possible for you, I think you'll enjoy watching the video here: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

How To Be Coachable

I've spent the last 5 months studying music performance full time at a local college, and this has given me the opportunity to observe both myself and the other students in my class. I particularly noticed how our approach to being coached by the teachers effected how enjoyable the process was and the final results each student got. Some attitudes to learning end up being much more enjoyable and productive than others. Other attitudes create stress, drama and unpleasant learning experiences for everyone. I'd describe the degree to which a student exhibits the collection of traits, behaviors and attitudes that facilitate fun, powerful, rewarding learning as how "coachable" they are. [caption width="1000" id="attachment_3046" align="aligncenter"] Make learning more fun by being coachable[/caption]The more coachable a student is, the more they get out of the learning process and the more fun it tends to be. This correlation between fun and learning isn't coincidence: it's a consequence of how our brains and central nervous systems process and store new information and skills. As a confidence coach, I can appreciate that like the students in my music classes, clients who are coachable get the best results. They are the ones who tend to enjoy the process more, make faster progress and get better value for money out of each coaching session. Furthermore, there are a lot of parallels between becoming a confident man in relationships with other people and learning to be an effective musician performing in a band, because they both require a high degree of self-awareness and interpersonal skills. So with my own experience and that of my fellow music students in mind, here's How To Be Coachable: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

My Plan For Next Year: Become A Rock Star

One of the activities that I recommend in The Confident Man Program Guide is to learn to play a musical instrument. There are a whole host of benefits to doing this beyond simply being able to play music: You also learn a whole bunch of life success skills in the process such as:

  • Committing to a challenging task
  • Taking daily action towards your goal in the form of practice
  • Dealing with plateaus and setbacks
  • Overcoming your own resistance to success
  • Developing both sides of your brain: analytical and emotional
  • Expressing yourself on a deeper level
  • Having more fun!
Once you've got some basic skills under your belt you can also jam with other musicians and join a band where you'll also learn: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

How To Be The Master Of Your Own Destiny

American writer Henry David Thoreau is famous for once writing:

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

Many people live their entire lives as if they were at the mercy of their life circumstances. Now it's true that there are some things in life that we have no direct control over, like natural disasters and other people's behavior. But it's equally true that we often have more say in how our life goes than we think we do. For instance, we can choose to live on a fault line in an earthquake-prone city or we can choose to live away from hotspots of seismic activity; and some forms of communication are much better at getting a response that we would like from other people than others. [caption id="attachment_2804" align="alignright" width="300"]Master Your Own Destiny Master Your Own Destiny[/caption] We have two choices in life: We can either submit to our life circumstances, give up our power and lead a life of resignation and often-not-so-quiet desperation; or we can choose to be the master of our own destiny. If the idea of being the captain of your own ship sounds appealing, here's how we can do it: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

How To Audition For A Play Or Musical

Here is a tip for you that’s really going to boost your self-confidence and push you outside your comfort zone and get you doing something completely different that’s also a whole lot of fun. Wondering what is it that I’m talking about? Well, I’m talking about auditioning for a play or a musical, getting up on stage and performing, doing a bit of a performance in front of your friends and your family.

Now, this is a whole lot of fun, and the way you do this is that you hunt around for some amateur theater companies in your local area. Every big city has groups of people who get together to do some amateur theater. They put on plays, they put on musicals where people get up and sing and just have a whole lot of fun.

This is really great; you’ll just love doing this. It’s going to scare the crap out of you, but at the same time it’s really a lot of fun. So the way you do this is you look around to find what amateur theater companies are operating in your area. Just do a Google search for “amateur theater” or “musical theater” or “theater companies”, and have a look for the ones where they just put on productions purely for fun.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

How To Create The Life That You Want

I’ve literally just finished reading this great book that I really want to recommend to you called The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz subtitled Learning to Become a Creative Force in Your Own Life. Here's what I’ve found fascinating about this book: Firstly, he outlines that most of us spend a lot of our lives living in what he calls the reactive responsive orientation, and what happens in this orientation is that generally we’re moving between what we don’t want and what we do want all the time. http://youtu.be/qOqwEgT0K5s (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

Flash A Smile At Everyone You See

Here is yet another confidence building activity for you. This one builds on an activity that you may have done before, which is to walk around making eye contact with everyone that you see as you go about your daily business. Well, that's a great activity to do, and this week what I want you to do is to add something on top of that and in addition to making eye contact with everyone that you see, flash them a big smile. A nice, friendly smile, and just notice how other people respond. http://youtu.be/RmNaJkZ0rg0 (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

The Easiest Way Ever for Men to Build Confidence With Women

Hey, it’s Graham here, and I’m coming at you from my sister’s place this time. And, hey, can you notice behind me on the wall there were some matching degrees? Isn’t that cute? My sister and her husband happened to go to the same university, so, yeah, they’ve got matching degrees on the wall. But that’s not really what I’m here to talk about. What I want to do is give you my biggest tip ever for meeting and becoming confident with women. Now, I was talking to my mate Peter last week and he said to me that when he read The Confident Man Program Guide, this was the biggest tip that he got from it and that’s why I list it as my number 1 skill that any guy who wants to be confident with women should learn. And so do you want to know what it is? I’ll tell you. http://youtu.be/Aby50WFHOQk (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

Get Some Cool New Clothes

Hey there, it's Graham again from The Confident Man Project, and I want to teach you this week about how to go out and get yourself decked out in some hot new clothes, not anything like what I'm currently wearing, ironically enough. But that's okay because I'm going to tell you what you need to know here. So basically the story is that if you are still wearing the sort of clothes that your mother dressed you in when you were a kid, that's probably not the latest fashion of today and it's probably not what you want to be wearing when you hit the town when you're out strutting your stuff, meeting new people and just having a bit of fun. http://youtu.be/uUZKf9p9yig (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago
Life Skills

Go To A Dance Class

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project again, and today I want to give you my number 1 tip for building your confidence with women, for getting exercise, for just having a lot of fun. This is an absolute showstopper. You’ve got to go do this if you haven’t already done it. So what am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about learning to dance. Now, for me, I want to all boys’ high school where playing rugby and getting your head kicked in was kind of the way to be the macho man and be a bit of a hero, and the whole idea of dancing sounding a bit kind of gay to me, to be honest. I didn’t think I would be doing that. How wrong I was because women absolutely love men that dance. There are genetic biological reasons for that. In the animal kingdom, a lot of animals use dance as a way of attracting their mate, and a lot of that same programming is built into the brains of human beings as well. http://youtu.be/AtBL6TQiX1o (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago