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Promote Your Website, Blog, Product or Service Helping Men Become Confident Here is a post from The Confident Man Project

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1. How to Win Your Copy of Confident Man For Free
2. Defeating Depression for Men
3. Stem Cell Research Offers Hope To Men With Backbone Injuries

Many women throw tests at men without even realizing that they're doing it. I've had a lot of conversations with women lately about this and often they're fascinated by the whole concept. They don't even know that they've been doing it all their lives, and sometimes strongly deny throwing tests at men entirely... unaware that they're throwing me a test in the process.

I remember when I first started spotting this dynamic between men and women, I often saw it in acting class when other students were improvising. A woman would walk on stage and say something derogatory to a man, and the man would usually act like a wounded child; thus failing the test. I'd be watching thinking “It's just a test! Don't collapse!” The guy didn't realize that it was a test, and the scene would go downhill as she lost any attraction towards him. Other guys would roll with the punches and end up seducing the woman; all because they knew how to pass the test.

Women's tests have been called compliance tests, bitch shields, and shit tests. They're all the same thing. They don't mean that she's a bitch; they just mean that she's checking you out and screening you to see what you're made of. The more attractive the woman, the more attention she gets and the more she's likely to test you especially when you first meet.

Once you know how to pass these tests you'll find your conversations and interactions with women flow more smoothly and become much more fun. So here's how:

Recognize That It's Just A Test

The first and most important point for handling a woman's tests is to recognize them in the first place. Once you realize that women are constantly throwing you subconscious tests, you'll start to spot them all over the place. Any time she says something a little out of left field that seems to question your character, integrity, strength, intentions or motives... it's just a test.

There's no point resenting women for doing this; it's just how they work. Remember that she's not necessarily aware that she's testing you, and that the purpose of the test isn't what she's really asking or saying; it's about something deeper. All these years women have been trying to flirt with you, and you've been fobbing them off because you just didn't realize.

Don't Get Defensive

We often take things that women say about us way too seriously. Once you spot a test, the most important thing is to avoid getting defensive. You don't want to end up in an argument with her over something trivial, and you don't want to end up in a position where you are justifying yourself. That doesn't make for a fun conversation.

The point of the test is to see how you respond emotionally: if you're affected and get angry, defensive or upset then you've failed the test. Fortunately once you learn to recognize these tests in the first place, you'll be much less affected by them and you'll begin to pass them with ease.

Play Along

Apply the golden rule of Theatrical Improvisation: always accept what other people say about you as being true. If she says something that seems a little derogatory, you can still accept that in a playful joking manner. Obviously you're not going to do this on a witness stand in a courtroom, but I'm talking about regular social interactions here. Even if you strongly disagree with their implied assessment of you, you can still accept that it is true for them. Other people's opinions don't matter to you anyway. If you have true inner confidence, you don't care about what they think of you and this makes it much easier to remain unaffected in the face of what feels like criticism.

Tease Her

One of the best come-backs for a test is to tease her. A classic response to any test where she's made an ambiguous or negative statement about you is to simply say “That's why you like me.” with a playful smirk. If she plays along, you know you've passed the test. If she gets all serious then maybe she's not much fun to hang around with in the first place. You don't want to give up straight away if she's someone you've just met since she may just be particularly defensive today, but there's no point persisting too long trying to play with someone with no sense of fun either.

Develop Your Sense Of Fun And Humor

Having a playful sense of fun and humor is a natural way of passing women's tests, because you aren't taking everything so damn seriously all the time. Learn how to kick back, laugh, and engage with people on a playful level. Allow yourself to get things wrong and to laugh at yourself. Just because you're a lawyer or a scientist doesn't mean you have to be right all the time in your social interactions; that will just make you appear stilted and hard to get along with.

Reassure Her

Some tests will be more serious than others, and indicate that she needs reassurance and attention from you. Women never stop testing you, so don't be surprised in a relationship that the tests never go away. If she's feeling insecure she will throw you more tests. This could come across as anything from asking you for the tenth time whether you've put the trash out, to interrogating you about why you were late home from work. Reassure her that you love her and give her the attention that she's crying out for, and she'll feel less need to keep testing you.

Learn When To Stand Your Ground

Obviously there will be times when you want to stand your ground with a woman. You don't want to put up with bad behavior, let her put you down or treat you poorly. After all, you wouldn't do that to her would you? The problem is that when we lack confidence we tend to come across as defensive rather than assertive when we start standing up for ourselves. And we tend to get defensive much more often than necessary. Learn to let go of what other people think of you so that you can roll with the punches. Stand your ground when it's really important but focus of having fun with other people instead of taking them overly seriously all the time.

How to Handle a Woman's Tests is a post from The Confident Man Project

Related posts:

1. How to Handle Criticism
2. How to Communicate Sexually With a Woman
3. How To Pick Up A Woman At A Party

Between fellow course junkie Dunstan Bertschinger and I, we've explored a bunch of books, courses and workshops that have helped us get in touch with our intuition, emotions, and inner magician. Dunstan is a swimming coach who helps his clients gain confidence by developing their relationship with the water. He sees learning to swim as a metaphor for finding your place in the world: you can relax and trust the water to support you, or you can struggle to stay afloat.

Here's a podcast conversation between the two of us discussing several courses and workshops we've found helpful lately for developing confidence and getting in touch with our masculinity. Some of the themes we cover:

• The real meaning of confidence
• Opening your heart to receiving from others
• Being real with women and other people
• The problem with being nice when we're inauthentic
• Giving up perfectionism
• Transforming emotional wounds into personal power
• The power of naming your fears
• Your thoughts and feelings are not real
• The secrets of personal magic/alchemy
• Overcoming creepiness
• Reversing our childhood conditioning and being honest
• Overturning negative beliefs

It's real, it's raw, it's free, and it's available for download here. Or you can play it by clicking the play button:

/freebies/Interview-Dunstan-Bertschinger.mp3

Here are links to the resources mentioned in the podcast:

• Master Your Destiny course and The Magician's Way book by William Whitecloud
• The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
• Personal Growth Counsellor Denise Cook
• The Human Awareness Institute Love, Intimacy and Sexuality workshops
• Indian spiritual teacher Osho
• The Work of Byron Katie and her book Loving What Is
• The popular “law of attraction” movie The Secret that tells only half the story

You can connect with Dunstan Bertschinger on Facebook. We love your feedback so please leave a comment letting us both know what you think!

How to Develop Your Masculinity is a post from The Confident Man Project

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This month's edition of the Confident Man Carnival brings you the latest advice from across the net on confidence with women, dating and relationships:

Lisa Hood presents 10 Weird But True Facts About Kissing posted at ZenCollegeLife, saying, "Kissing is an integral part of our courting rituals, holiday celebrations, and romantic comedies."

Charles Chua C K presents The Ten Golden Rules of Human Relations posted at All About Living with Life.

Donna Cullen presents 10 Love Lessons from Claude Monet posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, "Claude Monet was one of the forerunners of what would eventually become one of the most easily accessible artistic movements of the era. His art also has a lot to teach about love."

Mary Edwards presents 10 Love Lessons From Dirty Harry posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, "Education in romance can come from the most unexpected places, and we don’t always recognize it until it’s too late. Who knew, for instance, that while we were watching Inspector Harry Callahan dispatch thugs with his .44 Magnum Smith & Wesson Model 29 revolver in those Dirty Harry films that we were in fact being schooled in the language of love? Don’t believe us?"

Donna Cullen presents The 10 Reasons You're No Romeo posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, "Romeo and Juliet. Those universal literary symbols of true romance for generations of young lovers since the mid-16th century. So how do you compare to young Montague, you ask?"

Donna Cullen presents 10 Literary Romances That Would Never Work posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, "Most people (at least most women) enjoy a good love story. We swoon at the romantic parts and cry during the heartbreaking parts all in nervous anticipation of a happy ending. There have been oh so many romantic novels written and read ever since pen has been put to paper."

Mary Edwards presents 10 Fights Every Young Couple Has posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, "If you are married you will totally get a kick out of remembering all the silly little fights you had as a newlywed and if you are a newlywed maybe these will be food for thought."

Ken Lange presents Why Not Learn to Dance? posted at Kenneth Lange, saying, "Dancing is something that a well-rounded man must master." And I agree with him.

Jon Rhodes presents Positive Self Affirmations posted at HypnoBusters, saying, "This article shows you how you can make yourself more positive and confident, with the use of affirmations."

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the confident man carnival using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Claude Monet, Dirty Harry and Romeo on Confidence, Kissing, Dancing and Romance is a post from The Confident Man Project

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I've always been a pretty funny guy; my sense of humor developed for coping with boring schoolroom classes where I'd constantly be making funny comments to keep myself and the other kids amused. Needless to say, I got sent out a lot. Even years later when working as an Engineer, I couldn't help but put funny footnotes in technical documents. My inner comedian was bursting to get out and now I'm even studying stand-up comedy.

But even if you've never seen yourself as funny, it's definitely a skill that you can learn to develop. You'll love the satisfaction you get when you make people laugh; any comedian will tell you that this is the best drug out there. So here are my tips on how to be funny:

Notice What Amuses You

All good humor is based in truth. Start by noticing what amuses you, and work with that. Don't try and be someone you're not, or try to second-guess what other people will find funny. Ideas that are genuinely funny to you will often be funny to other people too.

Start noticing what amuses you about people, places, events and concepts. Pay more attention to what's going on around you. Learn to laugh at the absurdities of life, and start pointing them out to other people. If you find it funny, share it with others.

Don't Try

This may seem paradoxical, but if you want to be really funny you have to avoid trying too hard. Humor arises spontaneously from an inquiring state of mind, not from trying to be really clever or funny. The more you relax about being funny, the funnier you will be.

If you want to be funny to attract women, make sure you portray yourself with high status in your humor and learn to do it effortlessly. You want to be funny, not goofy.

Be Real

People connect best with humor that's authentic. The best comedians put a lot of their personal pain into their acts; it's like therapy for them. Billy Connolly is a classic example: he often talks on-stage about his abandonment issues. Most people are too afraid to share their personal issues with other people but when you start making light of yours everyone around you will find your humor liberating. They'll be drawn to you like moths to a flame.

Tell it like it is. Humor gives you the opportunity to speak the truth in a way that slips past people's defense mechanisms. A statement of truth that would otherwise be blasphemous or offensive can often be delivered safely with humor. Learn to laugh at how absurdly uptight we all are sometimes and share your personal insecurities with other people while avoiding put yourself down. A little self-deprecation is fine, but you want people laughing with you, not at you. Portray yourself as the winner rather than the loser when you're being funny.

Reveal Your Inner Thoughts

Chances are that you already have amusing inner thoughts that you just aren't sharing with other people. We all do. Funny people have simply learned that these thoughts are valuable and are worth sharing. Often you'll get a great response, which encourages you to share more next time.

Sometimes an amusing comment will bomb completely and you may have a terrible feeling of failure or of being foolish or stupid. This is the time to remind yourself that you're simply out there amusing yourself, and if other people don't get it that's their loss. Keep sharing what's going on in your head even if your humor occasionally fails to land with people who take life too seriously, are in a bad mood, have no sense of humor, or simply have one that doesn't gel with yours.

Notice Connections Between Things

Linking people, places, events and ideas that aren't normally associated with each other is often funny. You'll find that your mind is already making these connections, but you're probably just not sharing them with other people at the moment because they seem ridiculous. That's because they are ridiculous. And that's why they're funny.

Our brains are wired to find connections between things as a survival strategy so we're constantly coming up with silly associations. Many people believe these associations are real, which is why beliefs such as the supernatural are so common, or they reject them out of hand because they're obviously absurd. Once you recognize these absurd associations you can use them to be funny.

Make Call-Backs

One of the funniest ways to link disconnected ideas is to refer back to an idea which came up earlier in the same conversation. Comedians and writers call this a call-back. Using call-backs in conversation is powerful because it shows your partner that you're really paying attention to what they are saying and that you're listening on a deep level.

Everyone loves a good call-back and once you're aware of them you'll notice people from comedians to suave pick-up artists peppering conversations with them all the time. Unlike a joke, the more you repeat a good call-back the funnier it gets.

Learn To Tell Funny Stories

Telling funny stories always makes people laugh. You're either telling a funny story, or you're making some amusing observation on what's happening right now. Don't tell jokes unless you're extraordinarily proficient at coming up with original ones; jokes almost always make you look lame even if you get a laugh. Never tell a joke you heard somewhere else.

Telling funny stories is a great way to show off your cool personality. Don't try to add humor to your stories; just work on uncovering the humor that's already there. To be really proficient at story-telling, check out the Edge Of Their Seats Storytelling Home Study Course by Craig Valentine.

Carry A Humor Diary

Professional comedians and public speakers collect humorous material from their daily lives for use later on. They often carry around a humor diary or notebook where they can write down any amusing observations that come to them. I do this, and so can you. Jot down anything that amuses you as you go about your daily life, and review it from time to time to remind yourself of the funny stories or incidents you've been a part of. Personal humor works best and this is a great way to cultivate it. As you pay more attention to the humor in your daily life, you'll naturally become more funny.

Read Books

There are plenty of books out there that can teach you how to delve into the depths of your troubled psyche to mine it for humorous gold. You can also learn how to deliver your material for maximum impact, whether it be on stage or simply in conversation. I recommend Stand Up Comedy: The Book by Judy Carter. When you read the book make sure you actually do the exercises and you'll find yourself becoming funnier all over the place.

Take A Course

Doing a course is the most practical way to expose your humor gene and learn to be funny in front of other people. Theatrical Improvisation courses are a great way to start if you're particularly nervous, or dive straight into a Stand-Up Comedy course in your town. Comedians normally work at night and have to do something during the day; they often enjoy teaching their craft to others.

You don't even have to leave your home to do this; you can do it online. I recommend the High Status Humor course, especially if you want to be funny in order to attract women.

Practice, Practice, Practice

As with anything else, practice makes perfect. Being funny is as much about delivery as it is about material, and the only way to fine tune your delivery is to practice and see how it goes. Material that is funny to you may not be funny to other people, or may only be funny to men. The more your practice the better you'll get at both picking your material and delivering it.

When you first try using more humor you may be nervous and talk too fast. Slow down. Try a concept on a few different people before declaring it not-funny. Sometimes other people are just in a bad mood. Be willing to fail more, so you can have more success. Always go back to what you find amusing and keep developing your personal funny bone. You'll start attracting other people who share your sense of humor and you can all have a lot of fun being funny together.

How To Be Funny is a post from The Confident Man Project

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With that in mind, here are tips on how to be popular:

Make Other People Feel Good

Popular people love making other people feel good because it's more fun having fun with other people than doing it by yourself. Learn how to make other people feel good by being around you, and they'll want to be around you more and more. Pretty simple, really.

Learn How To Make Other People Laugh

Making other people laugh is a great way to make them feel good. Develop your sense of humor and learn to express the quirky, amusing thoughts that go through your head. Learn to tell stories that amuse other people, show off your strengths, and make them laugh. If you don't consider yourself funny, read books on stand-up comedy and learn the secrets that comedians know about how to make other people laugh. Study up on how to be funny. You'll be the life of the party once you've got this handled.

Develop Your Social Skills

Work on developing your social skills. In particular, learn how to listen to what other people say and make them feel understood. We all have a deep desire to be understood, and when others recognize that you have this gift they'll naturally gravitate towards you. Also learn how to be the social lubricant that brings people together and enables them to have fun. Network with other people and help facilitate them getting to know each other. Introduce friends with common interests, mutual goals or similar business ventures. Become the go-to guy that other people want to keep in touch with.

Avoid Gossip Or Putting Other People Down

One of the biggest differences between superficial popularity and deep popularity is that people who are truly popular don't gossip or put other people down behind their backs. They understand that doing so is completely counter-productive; if you bitch about other people, the people you bitch to will just end up bitching about you.

Protect your reputation by being straight with people to their face, and never say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say in front of them. If other people start gossiping about others around you, just say “Sorry, but I don't do gossip” and leave it at that. Other people will come to rely on you as someone who is consistent, dependable and trustworthy; and people like being around others who are like that.

Have An Interesting Life

Broaden your outlook on life, and widen your field of interests. With a wide range of interests, you'll be able to talk to just about anyone about just about anything. This makes you very interesting and attractive, especially to women. Many women find that most men are fairly one-dimensional and when you start developing your hobbies, skills and interests you really stand out from the pack.

Take up art, music or dancing. Any of these activities will instantly introduce you to a range of interesting people. Step outside your comfort zone and start hanging with people from different professions to your own; you'll become more confident, interesting and popular.

Communicate On An Emotional Level

If you want to be popular with women, you need to learn to communicate on an emotional level. Too many guys make the mistake of trying to connect with women intellectually, and this stifles our ability to relate really deeply. If you want to have women ringing you to catch up, go out or hook up, then you need to be able to relate to them emotionally.

This doesn't mean being a snaggy sensitive new-age guy or a Nice Guy; it just means that you have the ability to affect a woman emotionally and make her feel something when she's around you. Women are drawn to men who make them feel because it brings her femininity alive and that feels fantastic to her. Once you've made it into her emotions, it's a short step before you're the guy in her fantasies as well.

How To Be Popular is a post from The Confident Man Project

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Here's a list of favorite music I keep on my MP3 player to help me feel confident:

Bon Jovi: It's My Life

It's your life, and you can do with it whatever you like. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

No Doubt: It's My Life

No Doubt's take on the same theme.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Survivor: Eye Of The Tiger

Classic track for getting pumped up. I know pick-up artists who advise students to listen to this before hitting the clubs to meet women on a Saturday night.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Kenny Loggins: Danger Zone

Picture yourself on the back of a motorcycle riding along beside the airport, ala Tom Cruise. Works every time.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Van Halen: Jump

If this doesn't get your heart going, check that you've still got a pulse.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

The Bee Gees: Stayin' Alive

This is a great one for learning to swagger along the street confidently. Put your headphones on and practice walking along as if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Yes: Owner Of A Lonely Heart

I don't know exactly why, but this one totally works for me too.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Gavin DeGraw: I Don't Want To Be

I don't want to be anything other than me. A good reminder to be yourself.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Ace Of Base: Beautiful Life

Great reminder of how good life really is. It's just that we forget sometimes.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

U2: Beautiful Day

U2 on the same theme.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Midnight Oil: One Country

Threw this one in especially for other Australians. A stirring song from one of the country's greatest ever bands.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Add Yours

How about you? Do you have a favorite song for boosting your confidence?

Music To Help You Feel Confident is a post from The Confident Man Project

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Here are some ideas on how to be cool:

Forget About What Other People Think

The quintessential element underlying coolness is that you don't care what other people think of you. It's none of your business. You retain a cool detachment from other people's judgments of you at all times, and this allows you to relax and let your true personality shine through. Whether other people like you or not is of no concern to you. Cool people don't get lonely very much because they've got plenty of friends, and they know there are always people to hang out with. They are non-needy. Since they don't need more friends, they attract them easily.

This trait of being unconcerned with what other people think of you underlies everything else about being cool. It also distinguishes genuinely cool people with superficial people who are trying to fake it until they make it. Let go of your fear around what other people think of you and start living spontaneously. This is the essence of cool.

Stop Trying To Be Cool

This is a paradox: whenever you're trying to be cool, you're not actually being cool. It's not really something you can fake. Try-hards are not cool. Remember, being cool is all about letting go of your attachment to what other people think. Work hard on that instead of on trying to be cool so that girls will like you. That's just a vicious circle. Start making your own rules and doing what you really want deep down instead of trying to impress others. Learn to truly let go, even of the idea of being cool.

On the other hand, don't deliberately go to the other extreme and act like a nerd or a jerk. Just accept that deep down you are already a cool person, shed whatever exterior facade prevents you from expressing your inner coolness, and get on with living life on your terms.

Be Your Own Man

A cool man is self-determined and makes his own rules. He understands that life is not fair, and has learned not only to live with this, but to benefit from this fact. He knows that he is the boss of his life and he gets to dictate the rules by which the game of life is played. It's his way, or the highway. Other people can take it or leave it. It doesn't matter to him whether other people like this or not. He's in charge.

Cultivate the attitude that you are the boss of your life, and start living accordingly. Don't treat other people as inferior; that's not cool. Just recognize that you're running your life, and leave other people to run theirs.

Avoid Getting Defensive

When challenged by other people, the cool man avoids getting defensive. He understands that since it doesn't matter what other people think of him, he has no need to set other people straight or correct their misconceptions about him. He's out to have fun and enjoy life, not to sit around debating whether he's right or wrong about something. If other people get the wrong idea, that's fine. He'll offer his opinion if he's asked, but it's no big deal whether others agree or not.

It's particularly important to avoid getting defensive around women. A cool man knows that women put men to the test all the time. He can recognize these tests and pass them easily, where other guys get defensive and flounder. Instead, he turns every test into a playful opportunity to flirt and have fun.

Develop Your Sense Of Humor

A cool man has a great sense of humor and knows when and how to be funny. He's always looking for amusement in the world and is happy to share it with others. Stop self-censoring your amusing inner thoughts and start sharing them with the people around you. Learn how to laugh at life, and not take it so seriously. Humor often arises out of the unexpected so start looking for unexpected connections between people, places, events and ideas in your daily life. Notice how funny other people are and start sharing it in ways that aren't degrading. Avoid using humor to put people down; that isn't cool.

Don't Take Life So Seriously

Cool people know that they're here to enjoy life, not to stress and panic about every little problem that life throws at them. Learn how to have fun and let go of the times in life that you don't get what you want. Laugh at yourself when you get things wrong. Drop the facade of perfection that you've cultivated to protect yourself and start relaxing more and being real around other people. Smile and joke around more.

Taking life seriously turns you into a neurotic nutcase. This will undermine coolness instantly. Let go of your stress and find the funny side of every situation, even if it takes some digging. Over time you'll learn to do this automatically. Once you've learned how to help other people laugh at their struggles, you'll have cool totally nailed. This is why comedians are cool.

Build True Inner Confidence

The more confident you feel, the easier it is to be cool in any situation. Nervousness and insecurity are the antithesis of cool. You can't really fake coolness; other people will notice if you aren't really the cool, confident guy you're trying to project. Let go of trying to be cool as a means to some sort of end, like being popular or attracting women.

Instead, work on building your inner confidence so that you can be comfortable and relaxed in any situation. Make a commitment to yourself to truly be confident, and you'll find other people much more able to relax and have fun around you. They'll get to see that deep down you really are a cool guy that they want to hang around, without you having to do anything special to make it happen.

How To Be Cool is a post from The Confident Man Project

Related posts:

1. Being a Cool Guy who Doesn't Care about What Other People Think

Well join the club. But if you'd like this year to be better than last year, you need to start doing something differently. So here's a process similar to what I learned at Resolving The Mindset Riddle to make New Year's Resolutions that actually work and make a profound difference in your life:

Write Down Your Goals

The first and most important step is to frame your New Year's Resolutions as goals that you can work towards, and write them down. Get yourself a special book to write your goals down in and track your progress towards them. Keep it handy as you'll be using it a lot: It will remind you of what goals are important to you so you don't get distracted by other less important activities, and it will help build your confidence as you now notice goals you set yourself being achieved.

When you write a new goal in your goal book, frame it in the present tense describing what you will experience once you have achieved it. Use your imagination to visualize what the achievement of your goal will look and feel like complete with the sights, sounds, smells, and emotions that go along with it. The full realm of sensations are important for programming your subconscious to lead you towards achieving your goal. Also add a realistic time frame when you would like to achieve it by.

The more specific you can be about the environment where you imagine the fulfillment of your goal the better. For example, if your goal is to be relaxed and confident while meeting women, you might imagine yourself in a Salsa dance club confidently meeting women while asking them to dance. To write this goal you might write:

It is now June 30^{t h} or earlier and I am in a Salsa dance club feeling relaxed and confident as I meet many beautiful women. I can feel the touch of my hot dance partner's hands in mine as the smell of her perfume mixes with the delicious aroma of sexy women's bodies gyrating to the invigorating sound of the pulsing Latin music. I smile freely at all the beautiful women I meet and they smile back at me wishfully, hoping I will ask them for the opportunity to dance with me. I feel confident in my masculinity and just love dancing in a sexy, provocative manner with all the beautiful women in the Salsa club.

It's good to pick environments and scenarios that support the easy achievement of your goal, so you set yourself up for success. In this example since dancing is the easiest way to meet sexy women, you imagine meeting women confidently in a Salsa dance club. Don't worry about how you will achieve your goal at this point, just write any goal that is important to you regardless of how achievable it may seem right now.

Visualize Your Success

Writing your goal so specifically and in the present tense begins programming your subconscious to notice opportunities to help work towards and fulfill your goal for you. It also makes it easy for you to mentally rehearse your success. Many sports stars, performers and public speakers use mental rehearsal to practice before an important event. The more often you visualize yourself being successful at achieving your goal, the more likely you are to be comfortable and successful when the time comes.

Imagining the sights, sounds, smells and textures of the environment in which you intend your goal to be achieved helps you feel confident and comfortable once you're there. Do each goal one at a time, and be as specific as you can. Imagine how wonderful you will feel as you achieve this goal and really let yourself experience the intense positive emotions to drive it deep into your subconscious. This may take practice, and may seem forced at first, but you'll get the hang of it. Your subconscious doesn't know the difference between emotions from the real world and your imagination, so start using your imagination to create the success that you want in life.

Read your goal book regularly and visualize yourself achieving the success that awaits you in the near future. Once you've done this, move on to taking action as you get on with your life. Avoid getting emotionally attached to your goals; being overly invested in what you want will make you unhappy with what you currently have, and make achieving your goals more difficult. Be happy and grateful for everything you currently have in your life.

Take Action Every Day

If you want to make your dreams a reality, you need to take massive action towards them. Just sitting and waiting for some Law of Attraction to kick in won't make any difference unless you're actually out there creating what you want in the universe. Your success depends entirely on you. For example, you'll feel a lot more confident walking into that Salsa club in six months time if you spend the time between now and then attending weekly Salsa dance classes. Also read everything you can about how to meet women confidently, and how to flirt with women in a way which is fun, sexy and engaging to them.

It's better to take a little action every day towards your goals than it is to take a lot of action one day, and then do nothing for the rest of the week, month or year because it didn't seem to work. Sustained action is what makes the difference. The more consistently you take action towards your goal, the faster you will get there. That's why courses like my online confidence building course are so good: you get to take daily action, with a new activity every week to keep things fresh and interesting.

Tell Your Friends

In the past, you may have avoided telling your friends about your New Year's Resolutions for fear of embarrassment if you fail to achieve them. Perhaps that's even why you gave up making them at all. Maybe you aren't sure whether your goals are achievable, or the exact process by which you would achieve them. All these thoughts are just excuses to avoid looking bad if you don't fulfill on your intentions.

That's not how a confident man acts. A truly confident man knows that he can fulfill on his word, even if he doesn't know exactly how it's going to pan out. You can turn the potential embarrassment of failing in front of your friends to your advantage, by inspiring them with your new possibility in the knowledge that they will keep you accountable. Friendly peer pressure can help motivate you to keep working towards your goals even on days when you've given up because they don't seem achievable. You won't want to give up on yourself and your buddies by giving up on the goals that are important to you in front of them.

Having support from your friends makes it much more likely that you'll succeed. It also inspires them to take on goals which are important to them. Pretty soon all your friends are turning up at Salsa dance class too and before you know it the guys you knew who were hopeless with women are all starting to get it as you teach them new moves to use on the dance floor and off. You are now a leader, and women find leaders magnetically attractive. You're also benefiting from their momentum moving forward, and friends who perhaps once were holding you back are now helping propel you forward. All because you shared your goals with your buddies.

My Goals for 2012

I like to practise what I preach, so here are my goals for 2012. For brevity I'll list them in point form here, but rest assured they're fully elaborated in my goal book, as described above. I only met about half of my big goals last year, so this year I'm cutting back to the bare essentials:

• Join a Theatrical Improvisation (Improv) team that performs weekly
• Do at least 5 Stand-Up Comedy shows
• Finish my humorous book on flatmates
• Regain my health and vitality
• Get Confident Man onto the first page of Google for the keyword “confidence”
• Have men helping each other to be confident on The Confident Man Forums
• Get 10x the traffic to The Confident Man Project website

How about you?

Start Now!

By now you've probably worked out that this process works any time of year. You don't have to wait until New Years to do it. So start right now: get your goal book, write down some goals that are important to you, and start visualizing and taking action towards them. Tell your friends. Point them to this article and get them working towards their goals too.

Imagine how happy you'll feel crossing off each goal you've achieved, knowing how important they are to you and feeling great as you become a confident man who consistently takes action to create the life of your dreams with grace and ease.

How to Make Your New Year's Resolutions Actually Work is a post from The Confident Man Project

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How to Win Your Copy of Confident Man For Free is a post from The Confident Man Project

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