5. Learn to Manage Your Fear
Standing up to your mother and cutting the emotional umbilical cord may release a great deal of primal fear in you. This comes about because there was a time in our lives when we were completely dependent on our mother’s love, support and nurture for our survival.
So cutting the emotional umbilical cord can release a great deal of primal fear that we may still be hanging on to, and this is basically the reason why many men never take this journey.
However, the upside of this is that once you’ve released that primal fear of your mother, you won’t end up projecting it onto other people any more and you’ll find yourself being much more calm and centered around women and around men generally because the great fear that you had of upsetting your mother, which you projected onto other people, has dissipated.
My life started to change in a big way when I decided that my highest value wasn’t keeping my mother happy. Now, it’s not that keeping my mother happy is a bad thing – I don’t want to deliberately upset her – it’s simply that there are things that are more important to me than keeping her happy. And if I go and do those things and it upsets her, well, that’s her problem to manage. It’s her emotions that are being triggered.
So rather than me just avoiding doing the things that might upset my mother, now I do the things that are really important to me and I don’t let that get in the way of me deciding whether I should or shouldn’t do something.
So learning to manage your fear is very important. Once you’re managing your fear, you can start going to number 6 which is to start making your own choices in life.