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Category Archives: Emotions
Hey, it’s Graham here, and I’m feeling cranky today so let’s talk about anger. Now, there are two mistakes you can make with anger. The first one is to suppress it, pretending you don’t feel angry and just push that emotion down. And the second one is to just spew your anger out so that you express it destructively. Now, today I want to talk about the first one of those, which is suppressing your anger, and why we do that and why it’s not a good idea and what you can do about it.
Hey there, it’s Graham here from The Confident Man Project, and today you are going to learn all about the importance of expressing how you feel. Now, as guys, often we don’t get taught how to do this, we don’t learn how to do this, we don’t practice how to do this; we just tend to keep our feelings to ourselves a lot of the time and this is a massive problem because when we bottle up our emotions inside, we are prone to all sorts of horrible things like illness and depression and just unhappiness and frustration and it makes it hard to connect with other people, particularly with women who just love having an emotional connection with you.
And so I want to really advocate for the idea of you expressing how you feel in any moment. Like, right now I’m feeling a whole mixture of things. I’m feeling happy and I’m feeling frustrated and I’m feeling a bit pissed off and irritated and, you know, all this stuff is going on inside me all at once and it’s very unhealthy to just keep all that stuff bottled down inside.
Hey guys, I read a lot of books on personal development and as a result of that it’s pretty rare nowadays that I come across a book that contains brand new concepts or ideas that I’ve never heard of before. So what I’m looking for in the books that I read now is more a matter of how they affect me, like how they make me feel.
Because I really believe that if you want to make a lasting change in your life, then you need to deal with emotions and particularly the emotions that we have been avoiding feeling in the past and all that business that’s repressed in our subconscious.
Hey, it’s Graham here again with another confidence building idea for you. And today I want to talk about a serious subject which is the weighty topic of getting some emotional healing, if you need it. Now what tends to happen to us in life is invariably we go through a series of events, some of which are great and some of which are not so good, and some of the ones which are not so good can be so heavy that they’re really traumatic and they leave us with some kind of emotional scarring deep down in our psyche that hangs around and affects us for the rest of our life until we get to the point where we’re ready to deal with this stuff.
Now, the way that your subconscious works and that your emotions work are that any time you have a event that happens with a strong emotional response, in particular an emotional response that’s too strong for you to deal with at the time, we end up with a traumatic memory stored deep in our subconscious. And what happens is that any time in the future that we’re in a similar kind of situation, we’ll have the same emotion arise because we’ve been programmed for that by the traumatic event that’s happened back in our past.… Continue reading…
Many of us guys lack a basic emotional literacy; we have physical sensations when we're feeling something, but we often don't know how to identify what we're feeling, nor are we able to recognise emotions in other people. Being able to identify emotions is the basis of empathy, which is a core communication skill.
If you have been feeling stuck, blocked, and frustrated, my good friend, Nicholas de Castella, has an exciting opportunity I would like to invite you to share in...
For over 20 years, Nicholas has taught people just like you how to raise their Emotional Intelligence. As you may know, raising your Emotional Intelligence is vital to unlocking the key to your happiness, fulfillment and success.
Nicholas will be hosting a FREE BREAKTHROUGH SESSION in which he will guide you through a Breakthrough session and outline the 5 proven steps to living authentically, having boundless energy, feeling unshakeable passion, and creating the kind of life that gets you excited to wake up and jump out of bed in the morning.
As you complete each step, you will take your health, relationships, wealth and satisfaction to a whole new level.
So let’ jump in, shall we?
Step 1: Raise Self Awareness:
- Create a vision for who you want to be and the life you want to live
- Develop Emotional Literacy: enhance your ability to respond most effectively
Step 2: Peak Functioning (Attitude / Mindset)
- Equanimity: How to cultivate an open spacious, non-judgemental, reactive mind
- Inner harmony and balance: Learn to stop relentless thinking and calm a busy mind
- Cultivate Optimism: Motivate yourself for enjoyment, ease and achievement
Step 3: Grit (Emotional Mastery)
- Courage: The ability to step into the unknown, uncertainty and unfamiliar
- Determination & Endurance: The ability to delay gratification and stay focused
- Clear blockages and release resistance
- Persistence: how to keep on going when things are moving slowly
- Resilience: ability to bounce back after setbacks and not take things personally
Step 4: Inducing Flow (Heart Intelligence)
- Effortless flow: the ability to achieve with more joy and ease
- Self determination: The freedom that comes from feeling whole and complete in yourself
- Inducing Grace: gratitude, kindness, generosity
- Intuition: making better decisions, divine timing
Step 5: Setting up practices and systems
- Establishing healthy habits
- Establishing daily rituals
- Building a team: connecting, enrolling and inspiring others
- Engaging teachers and mentors
If you’re ready to gain crystal clear clarity on what you really want and finally build the powerful momentum you need to succeed, then you absolutely do not want to miss Nicholas’ next FREE BREAKTHROUGH TO FREEDOM session on Wednesday, October 8th at 8PM AEDT (Australian Eastern Daylight Time). … Continue reading…
Emotional wounds from early life can have a profoundly detrimental effect on our self confidence and our ability to be successful in life.
Even wounds that we're unaware of or reluctant to acknowledge can still strongly effect us because they operate on the unconscious or subconscious level. These wounds can lead to self-sabotaging behaviour that may be obvious to other people, while we remain oblivious to what's going on. Yet we keep encountering similar painful experiences in life over and over, unable to pinpoint what's causing this pattern or how to break out of it.
Often deep emotional wounds that we may be unaware of are at the heart of our ongoing suffering. Fortunately my good friend Peter Saxon is an expert on dealing with exactly this problem in men's lives, and I recently seized the opportunity to interview him on the topic.
My favourite quote from this interview is:
“When we really get to experience our feelings directly without avoiding or grasping or going to the emotional drama of the feeling, and are actually be able to sit with it, and then look to identify what the need is underneath that feeling, and getting help to meet that need: life changes dramatically.”… Continue reading…
Do you ever experience situations where you suddenly feel really bad in response to something happening around you, and have a compelling urge to withdraw or shut down? If so, you've probably been emotionally triggered.
I've been doing some acting training lately with a local theatre company which does shows based on Forum Theatre. This style of theatre is highly interactive: The actors perform a play in which things end badly for one or more of the characters; but then instead of leaving it there they go back and replay some of the scenes using suggestions from the audience as to what the characters could do differently that might change the final outcome. We even get members of the audience up on stage to role play their suggestions while the other actors remain in character to see how the ideas from the audience play out in practice.
The role I was being trained for was to act as the Joker: a kind of cheeky M.C. whose role is to liaise between the actors and the audience, asking for suggestions from the audience and encouraging them to get up on stage to play those suggestions out. While the introduction to this part of the play was scripted, the audience interaction is all improvised based on the suggestions that the audience offer.… Continue reading…
My punching bag has been getting a good workout lately, getting more of my repressed anger out of my system. One of the recent triggers has been whiny, complaining people.
For example, last week I was in an acting class where everyone seemed to want to complain about something. One woman turned up late and complained that she had trouble parking the car, and seemed to want the teacher to solve the problem for her. I'd managed to get a parking space with no trouble, and there's a train station right across the road so it really didn't seem like a huge deal to me. A bit of forward planning and she'd be able to park the car and get to class on time.
Then another guy turned up late and started protesting when the teacher requested that he turn up on time in future. Thing is, he always turns up late. It's like his thing to be late, and he always makes a big deal of it when he walks into the room. We even used it to mock him in a performance one time; but really he's the only one who finds it funny.… Continue reading…
Life can be a bitch when you're feeling anxious. Anxiety can undermine your confidence like nothing else. When feelings of fear take a serious foothold in your life, you can lose your whole sense of self as your self-confidence quickly heads south.
So here are seven simple steps to overcome anxiety:
1. Ask Yourself What You Haven't Accepted Yet
Anxiety is a clue that you're confused about reality and the way things should be. The problem boils down to distorted thinking which leads to confusion about the nature of reality. You're telling yourself that things should be different to how they are, and that's distressing. Once you learn to accept that things are the way they are, your anxiety will dissipate.
Perhaps you already know what it is that you can't accept about reality, or perhaps you're not sure. Often emotions arise in our subconscious and then our conscious mind attempts to come up with a rational explanation. But we don't always get it right; so maybe the thing you're confused about isn't what you think it is. There are many processes for inquiring more deeply into reality. One of my favourites is The Work of Byron Katie described in her book Loving What Is.… Continue reading…